


We'll Protect Monsta X

by xxlyulfxx



Category: Monsta X (Band)
Genre: Angst, CEO, Confrontations, Established Relationship, M/M, Mild Cursing, Near Future, New Beginning, OT7, Office, Reconciliation, Separations, Showki, ShowkiMasterBingoChallenge, Sickness
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-06
Updated: 2019-02-15
Packaged: 2019-10-23 11:31:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 9,570
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17682629
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/xxlyulfxx/pseuds/xxlyulfxx
Summary: What does it mean with protecting the team, protecting one another?How far can they go, to protect the name of 'Monsta X'?Does it take all 7 of them, or...?Showki Master Bingo ChallengeCard BPrompt : Angst





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hi~   
> I would appreciate if all reader could have an open mind when reading this. This is totally fictional and I will make this a three chaptered fic (different prompt for each chapter) , so some of the things were left unexplained.   
> The settings are near future, maybe 6 to 7 years forward. 
> 
> It is an OT7 fic, a conflict they have to face together with a focus on ShowKi relationship as this is a part of the bingo challenge.   
> All in all...  
> Hope you enjoy this. 
> 
>  
> 
> Uwaaaaa

"Are you okay, hyung?"

Kihyun looked over to I.M who is leaning over the door, looking as disappointed as him too. He let out a sigh and nodded. "I'm trying to be okay."

"You don't have to try. We are all shocked by this, we don't deserve this." I.M walked closer to Kihyun. "He cannot just decide to ..." his words were cut off when someone entered the room. "Talk about the devil."

"Could you step outside for a while?" Shownu sounded calm while addressing I.M, despite his wrecked condition.  
  
I.M complied to the request, but he managed to let out a grunt; specially intended so the leader could hear him.

The mood in the room shifted, it was heavier now. The two of them were not talking. Shownu cleared his throat.

 

"I can explain." Kihyun shake his head, letting out a disappointed sigh.

"Explain what, hyung?"

"You know I deserved to explain myself. You can't do this to me, at least not you."

 

"Actually, you don't get to betray any of us, especially not Kihyun." Wonho was by the door. Hyungwon is standing beside him, not even looking at Shownu. His hands were crossed, posture stiffened. For once, Hyungwon was not on his side.

 "I can explain. I understand the anger but let me talk to Kihyun first." Shownu needed to face all of them, that he knew but he needed to console his lover first.

"You lose that right, hyung." I.M's voice was stern, hasher than Wonho's. The maknae is braver at times like this, when the team is in danger. He is one that would step up, ready to fight. Shownu would know.

 "Please." Shownu whispered. As expected, despite their anger, Wonho, Hyungwon and I.M still respect Shownu enough to step away. But I.M felt a strong push on his back. It was Minhyuk.

 "Everybody go in. Let's talk. Don't you guys dare to betray Kihyun now and let this monster wreck him." His other hand is dragging Jooheon, who eyes were on the ground, but everyone knew he is more than mad.

 Shownu let out a grunt. He took off his cap, raked his hair and threw the cap to the floor in anger. “Goddammit. Let me settle this one by one! For once, Minhyuk... listen to me."

"I don't listen to you when you are the leader, why the hell should I listen now? Huh?"

  Jooheon let out a sinister laugh. He looked at Shownu with a mean look.

"Talk, betrayer."

 

The weight of the words shocked everyone because it came from Jooheon, Shownu's favourite member. It broke Shownu, he flinched, he did but his pride and ego made him stand straighter. "What do you want me to say? Even if I apologised now, nobody going to forgive me."

"We don't want to hear your ego. We want the sincere Son Hyunwoo talks. So, talk." Wonho's voice is soft, coaxing.

Shownu sat on the 3-seater couch, leaving an empty space between him and Kihyun. Still, the latter shrank away, unwilling for there to be any contact between them. Shownu noticed yet made no comment. Maybe he deserved this.

 

"I have a reason, but I can't tell you guys about it. I'm sorry. I'm sorry for making a decision this big but leave all of you in the dark."

"So, it is true?" I.M questioned.

"What is?" Shownu exhaled.

"That Kihyun hyung knows nothing about your decision?"

 Shownu looked over to Kihyun, who had his hands clasped together. He was sitting with his head down, staring on his feet. He was in a mess, more than the other.

"I tried dropping hints..." Kihyun looked at Shownu with disgust, but he kept his mouth shut, "... I tried, but I know it was not much considering we never really think about other possibility; it is always Monsta X. Which is why I can't bring this to the table. So, no. Kihyun did not know a single thing."

"You said that like it is a good thing." Jooheon icy tone is back, "If I feel like shit at the moment, if all of us feel like punching you at the moment, can you imagine how Kihyun hyung would feel? Fine, we are mere members, but you guys are together. Fuck, you make us shut up about you two. When it started, you apologised and begged to us to be understanding and accept you two. Like it was your life; when all of us already expected that. When all of us were okay with it, we were just happy for you two. But now? Now what, man? You decided to dump us all, and put even Kihyun in the dark? When do you plan to tell us?"

 Shownu grunted, sinking lower to the couch.

"Do you need alcohol? Should we eat and talk?" Kihyun was not looking at him but everyone knew he is being considerate to their ex-leader.

"You don't have to save him, Kihyun. Not now." Hyungwon finally spoke up.

"Let's get some booze. We can't be sober with all of this shit." Wonho walked out of the room and I.M quickly followed.

 

 

.

 

 

"When do you decide to not sign the new contract?" Wonho asked.

They were all at the living room now, sitting around as if this is something casual. As if they are just spending some time together after an award show. Like they just hanging around; when in fact this might be the last time the 7 of them being together.

 "6 months ago." Silence fell in the room.

"Listen, I need a break okay? I had things happening in my life but Changkyun just finished his military service and the company is so pumped up in plotting the grand comeback now that all of us is here again."

"Not like we are getting it now." I.M chimed in.

"I'm sorry. I need a break, but the company planned for us, we are fully booked until next year. The comeback is just a beginning. After that, we will be working non-stop..."

"We could talk to the company..." Minhyuk sound insincere, “…if you let us talk too, maybe they'll listen."

"I can't do that to you guys. All of you are so excited for the comeback. Monsta X had grown this big, even when some of us are in the military we still survived, we sold tickets like hotcakes… we are on top. We literally are on top at the moment, people anticipate us. People want to see us 7, again. I can't ask you guys to wait. Just for my sake."

"The irony." Hyungwon chuckled darkly.

"Yeah, now you give them no choice." I.M said after gulping down his beer, he continued "Now, Monsta X is just 6 people. How stupid is that?"

 "Why do you need a break, desperately?" Jooheon who was sitting by Kihyun at the end of the room, spoke up.

Kihyun held his beer tightly, not a single word had left his lips tonight. Not after he suggest the booze and food. Jooheon is Shownu's son, that is how the world sees it. Jooheon is Shownu's favourite so at the sight of him sitting beside Kihyun, almost like he is protecting him from Shownu said a lot about the situation. Shownu found happiness in that, knowing that even without him, the team will protect one another, even from him. They'll be okay.

 "That's personal."

A soft gasp left Kihyun's mouth, almost like a whimper. One thing for sure, he was in pain. In small voice, he asked "Even for me?"

 

The whole room stay still. This is a conversation of two lovers, who had one another for years. The lovers who finally unravel their feelings for one another after years of denial and avoidance. The lovers who used desperation and separation as a motivation to be truthful, who had love fiercely once they found the courage to be honest. The same lovers that begged for acceptance from the team when it was totally unnecessary; considering how happy everyone else was, still. The same lovers that spark courage within all of them, making them the strongest KPOP group of all, as they fight for their rights. The same lovers who fight furiously so Wonho, Jooheon and I.M could have a proper studio; not some unwanted room to be their small working space. The same lovers who took upon themselves to take care of the others. Who had made all them as daring as they are today. Before departing for his military service, Shownu had made sure the whole team was on top; as a team and individually. When he left, Wonho had follow through three months later and the cycle repeats to ensure that at least there would be members who can stay active while some serving the country. The plan worked out well, the man returned and his lover too and the world had changed by that time. Some idols had come out, revealing their personal life as well. The first breakthrough was by one of the most respected seniors, Super Junior Eunhyuk and Donghae and it was taken well by others. Kihyun took courage and revealed it to the company and Shownu took the initiative to let the world know.

 So, they are not ordinary lovers. Maybe to others they are, but to Monsta X; they are the protectors. They are the leaders, the one that moves others.The lovers that had gone through hell together, the one that they had faith in, the one that fit well, the perfect one.The two lovers, for once; are not perfect.

"Even for you." Shownu answered, his words were confident but he too, was in pain.  
  
"Is this the only way?" Kihyun asked. By now, everyone knew they can only listen. They don't have any right to interrupt.

"Yes."

"If so, go. You don't owe us a thing. We will try our best and protect the name of 'Monsta X'. Nothing for you to worry about."

"Hyung..." Jooheon was desperate.

"It cannot be undone, Jooheon-ah. He decided not to continue with Starship. Us, without knowing had foolishly continue our contract. Even if you try to chain him to our wall, he doesn’t belong here anymore. So, learn to live with that." he rubbed Jooheon's back, consoling the younger. "I'm tired. I'll call it a night."

 

Kihyun stood and the others shuffled away, giving way to him. He passed in front of Shownu and the latter grabbed his hand.

 

"Let's talk first."

Kihyun stiffened. He was just thinking whether he can handle another heavy talk after all that had happened today.

 

They were sitting in the meeting room, cheerful as always. All but Shownu. They had just finished recording a song for the next album. Not the title track but it was still fun, considering everyone was together again. The director had come in with a grave expression and soon enough Shownu trailed behind him, expression a mirror to the older guy.

 "So, we give you a week beforehand. For you to think about signing again with us. We had promised each and every of our artists that their decision would remain a secret, until the day that we released the official statement about it. Same goes to you guys."

 The six brothers had sensed the disaster coming. It was then that they realised their leader said nothing about the new contract.

"Shownu, Son Hyunwoo... will no longer be a part of Starship Entertainment. Therefore, no longer a part of Monsta X. Wonho, you'll be the next leader. We had discussed the issue for a long time and solve it in the most beneficial way for both parties. No worries, you guys can still hang out together right?"

The director laughed nervously and had left the room, making it none of his business on how to fix a broken group.

 

Kihyun's mind was a busy place the whole day. One question was prominent; what went wrong?

So maybe, he should finish this once and for all.

 

"Sure, let's talk."

 The two lovers walked out of the dorm, leaving the five members dazed.

"I hope all is well." I.M had said before he went into his room, ready to sleep the whole messed up day away.

 

 

.

 

 

The two walked to the nearest playground, an abandoned one. It was safe, nobody knew about it. It was their secret, a place safe enough for them to love one another. But today, the place will witness something new; pain.

 "I am sorry." Shownu was searching for Kihyun's eyes but the younger was staring at the ground.

"Okay." His voice steady.

" Kihyun..." Shownu begged.

"I said, okay. You said this is the only way out. So, be it." Kihyun lifted his face, ready to meet the other's gaze. "So be it, you are no longer Monsta X now... no big deal..."

"Let's break up."

 

Kihyun's world stopped. He felt as if the clock had stopped ticking, leaving him stuck in an empty space. He felt the air stilled too, as if the whole universe was on hold, so he can catch himself. That's not true, though. No way he can catch himself, now.

 

"What?"

"I can't meet you like this. It going to hurt the others. I know this is cruel..." Shownu was choking on his own words, tears running down his cheeks slowly, his tears not as obvious as the tears that was running down Kihyun's cheeks, "...but I, I... we ... maybe this is the best..."

"Okay."

 

Shownu looked at Kihyun and his heart shattered. No, Kihyun should be the one defending their love. Kihyun should coax him into staying, not agreeing this easy.

 

"Okay?"

"Yes, okay. I have nothing else to say. Let's go home and sleep. Sleep hyung, then go tomorrow. We'll be good by ourselves. We'll try our best."

 

Kihyun walked away, leaving Shownu in his worst condition ever.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Now that Kihyun knows the truth, it is his turn to do something.
> 
> It is his turn to protect Monsta X
> 
> Showki Master Bingo Challenge   
> Card B  
> Prompt: Sickness

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here is the truth, though some of you would probably had guess. 
> 
> Enjoy!
> 
> p/s : I don't know much about the medical world so if there are mistake in the fic, please forgive me.

There were shouting here and there in the waiting room. Everyone is busy arranging the clothes, the shoes and the accessories. The six boys were sitting on the long couch, some on the chairs in front of the mirrors; scrolling their phone after a very demanding day.

They were guesting on a new reality show which is very popular nowadays. But it is the first appearance with only six of them and everyone was walking on eggshells. Not them but the MCs, the PD, the staffs even the audience. It was awkward when everyone tried to avoid the biggest issue they are all facing at the moment. It has been a month since Shownu left. Tomorrow they will release their new song, a comeback that the whole nation, if not the world, is waiting for. They are on top, the pride of the nation so even when a scandal this big is happening, nobody dared to say a thing. Which is wrong on every level. The group lost a leader, Kihyun lost a lover and Starship lost a shareholder. Yeah, each of them has bits of share in the company, not in big percentage but still, it is something.

"This feels like a broken record." I.M said nonchalantly.  
"I know right." Jooheon added.  
“I wish they can just say it to our face. This pretentious, this façade is far more damaging than discussing the truth. When will they understand?” I.M grunted.   
“Say that if you are the one they try to catch for an exclusive interview, so they can talk about your lover.” Hyungwon chimed in.   
  
Wonho looked over to Kihyun, who had pretended like he heard nothing. The whole group hummed in agreement but didn't say much. They had a long day, better save the energy for their comeback tomorrow.

Kihyun glanced towards his vibrating phone. An incoming call, it was from the same number for the third time. It didn't look like a normal number, probably from a payphone and even when he usually doesn’t pick up from unknown number he felt the need to do so, now. The rest of the group were leaving the room, ready to head home. Wonho called out his name.

"Hyung, one second. Let me just answer my phone for a while."

He got out of the room, finding a spot that is quiet enough, so he can talk comfortably.

"Hello?"

A soft gasp was heard. "Oh, oh... you picked up. Son, son..."

"Eommoni?"

 

 

.

 

He looked over the closed door, a smile still lingered on his lips considering the sweet middle-aged woman who had welcomed him warmly. Considerate enough to leave him alone with her precious son. He turned. The guy on the bed looked serious, probably sulking over the fact that his mom broke her promise. He was beyond shocked when Kihyun walked in, choking on his porridge and immediately had his straight face on. His facade, his wall, his defence. Kihyun should know. Kihyun looked around the room. Atleast Shownu can still afford a good room in the hospital for his treatment. He faced the older guy, clearing his throat. 

"Dare to explain?" Kihyun sounded pissed, because he is.  
Eyebrow knitted together, Shownu held his tongue.   
  
"I can go to the doctor. I don't freaking care, you want to talk or not. I came here because of your mom, not you. So, don't flatter yourself." His words punched Shownu in the gut as the guy flinched, almost like he can feel the pain, physically.   
  
"ACL. It is a common injury. Just that… I thought it'll be fine, so I ignore it. Now we need to deal with a bigger issue. Nothing big."   
"Nothing big? Yeah, for you leaving us is nothing."

The air stilled. Shownu was furious and it showed. His body stiffened and if he was not bound to the drip by his bed, he probably had pushed Kihyun out of the chair.

"Watch your mouth." Shownu hissed.

"Why?" Kihyun challenged.

 

.

 

The whole week, despite the heavy schedule Kihyun had made some time to go and visit Shownu. It could be a 5 minutes visit or an hour long, but he stopped by, so they can discuss.

The surgery went well, but that was just the first step. He had to wait for a whole month before he can undergo the surgery as the condition of his ligament do not allow them to proceed. He went through the surgery and now need to go through months of rehabilitation, so he can heal completely. He felt the need to bail out of the group, so he didn't hinder them in any way. He doesn’t want to be a burden; how can he possibly ask all them to wait for him. Or to let them work under the name of Monsta X with a missing leader. He is the leader, was the leader. How weird would it be for him to be hospitalised and not work while the whole team work hard and climb higher into stardom.

"You are stupid. I thought after years, I could mould you into a better person, but you are just a stupid bear." Kihyun was folding his blanket while commenting on his decision.  
  
"That is the only way out."  
  
"Abandoning us?"   
  
"Baby..." Kihyun stiffened. The pet name was absent through their conversation in the past week. After all, they broke up.  
  
"Sorry Son Hyunwoo, but we are not together anymore so you don't have the right to call me baby."  
  
"Sorry."

 

Shownu had hurt his knee years ago but it was nothing serious. Being in the army made him realised that maybe it was a problem. After the service, he had continue dancing and notice the popping sound each time he moved his knee and sometimes he would lose his balance. Looking back, Kihyun did realised how Shownu would sometimes trip over nothing and would fall down the stairs randomly. It was funny, and he always laughed the loudest witnessing the clumsy side of his lover. Now, it doesn’t seem as funny, considering all of that were signs of something more serious. The doctor said the injury worsen. ACL or Anterior cruciate ligament injury is common, but it is still dangerous and knowing Shownu, he probably had suffer a lot. The guy would withstand any pain, too stubborn to go to the doctor. Now, he willingly went for a surgery. Kihyun knew it meant one thing, he was in major pain. It had been so bad that the ex-leader decided to get treated.  He will need to go through a hell of rehab to heal completely. Even if he does heal, he has no confidence that he can dance as good as before. Which is why he decided to quit Monsta X.

Which is stupid according to Kihyun. Deep down, he knew Kihyun ddin’t mean it. Deep down, Kihyun knew he was right. Which is why the latter is still here every chance he has, just to check on him.

"Can you come tomorrow?" Shownu asked.   
  
"Maybe late at night, we have a very late schedule. Also, the world tour starts in a month."  
  
"I see."   
  
"I'll bring the others, before we start the tour."   
  
"What?"

 

Kihyun sat, ready to fight. He out of everyone, need to do this. He will protect Monsta X.

 

.

 

The room was full, for once. They spoke with Shownu's parents. Tears flooding down, the truth had set the unresolved feelings free and the  sons apologised even when they made no mistake. But that was them, the parents. It was a different story for their ex-leader. They needed to talk.

Kihyun had asked for a day off and despite the hectic schedule, the manager had understood the weight of the request. They fight for it and here they stand, all seven of them in the same room. No word was exchanged for a good minute, until the youngest decided he had enough.

"How long have you known, hyung?"   
Shownu smiled, liking the fact that his Changkyun stayed the same. Always the one that step up, despite anything.   
  
"Few months after my service, it got worse. I've injured myself many times before that, but I guess being in the army, the demanding exertion of physical activities set it to be worse than it already was."  
  
"You keep it to yourself because…?" Hyungwon sincerely was in confusion.

"I feel bad."

Everyone took a moment to let it sink it. Feel bad for what? Nobody asked but Shownu knew he need to explain it.   
  
"If I said I need to go through a surgery with no guarantee that I'll fully recover, do you think the company will let me? This is not as easy as we all thought. I put a lot of thought in this, maybe postponing the surgery and use braces along the way, attend a few therapies so it will get better, but this is serious. I might tear the whole ligament completely. Either I do it now or put it to bigger risk. I can't ride on your hardship and hard work. I can't just sit around here but still wear the name of Monsta X when the whole team is out there, doing your best, sleepless night and all. I don’t deserve that. I am your leader, not a freeloader.”  
  
“Was. Was our leader, my leader is Wonho now.” Minhyuk snarky comment sent small smiles to all of them, understanding the light joke.   
  
"You could tell us, you know." Wonho said.  
  
"And put all of you in a bad light, as if you guys won't feel guilty the whole time." Shownu’s voice had a lighter tone to it by now.  
  
"We could be on hiatus." Mihyuk raised his voice, a sign of protest.  
  
"And the company would let us?" Jooheon asked.  
  
"Take a moment and think about this, really think. Personally, I agree with what hyung decided to do. It might be painful for all of us, but it is the least damaging now that we know the truth. If he stayed, the company would find a way to dump him. We all know that. It will hurt us more, making us the bad guys." Kihyun said, smiling.   
  
"You are just biased." Minhyuk joked.   
  
"How can I, he is not my boyfriend." Kihyun added.   
  
"WHATT???" Jooheon and I.M shouted.   
  
"We broke up, the day he decided to leave us. Let's get that cleared." Kihyun said and left the room.

Wonho shifted uncomfortably, knowing that all that left was for them to reconcile. Which all of them are so bad in. He cleared his throat.

"So, are we all good?" Eyes on Shownu, he smiled.   
  
"I'm good if you all are." Shownu said, smiling back.   
  
"Erghh, fuck this all." Mihyuk shouted, lurching towards Shownu and hugged the bigger guy. The whole room erupted in laughter. A smile crept onto Kihyun's face who was leaning by the door, outside.

 

Monsta X is back, all of them. His family is one again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> How was it?
> 
> Please let me know your opinion about this new chapter. I have one more chapter for this fic, please share your thought on your idea about what will happened next. I would appreciate that so much. 
> 
> And if you decided to comment, please let me know where are you from and what is famous about your country. It is a bummer that I don't travel much but I wish I can, in the future. 
> 
> As always, thank you for reading :)


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Monsta X is 7 people and maybe Wonho and Hyunwoo planned something to make sure it stays that way.  
> Even when the team is one again, will Hyunwoo and Kihyun be one again?
> 
>  
> 
> The truth unfolded that night. Shownu leaving them was just a beginning of a hideous reality. 
> 
> Showki Master Bingo Challenge  
> Card B  
> Prompt : Office

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! This will be the last chapter for We'll Protect Monsta X. 
> 
> Hope you like it!

"I can only drop you. Wonho hyung needs a ride. I'll pick him up and come back. We can eat lunch together."  
"Sure."  
"Text the rest, let's meet up at the company and then go for a lunch together."

 Kihyun picked up his phone and texted the members. Soon after, replies flooded in.

 "Everyone said okay."  
"Great."

 Kihyun get off the car and waved Hyungwon away. As he stepped in, few people were already there including his lawyer. He beamed.

Today is a good day for a good day.

.

  


The smell of new furniture made him excited. He ran his fingers through his suit and chuckled, almost like a silent joke to himself. Suit? An office?

"Sir..."

He turned and greeted the man with a kind smile.

"We arranged all of the furniture according to the floor plan but if you decide to change anything, just give me a call. We'll help you out."

"For free?" Kihyun joked.

"That goes unmentioned." the man smiled.

"Seriously?"

"Yes, as my 'good luck present'. It's a new beginning for all of you, this is the least I can do."

"Thank you so much."

 

.

 

He walked in his office again after going through everything in the building. He just needs confirmation from Wonho and I.M for the arrangement for their studios as Jooheon had it covered last week. Other than that, he will need to wait for all of them to see if anyone want any changes. Plopped down in his new leather chair, he inhaled deeply. First step, small one but they made it this far. It'll be fine. Soft knocks were heard. It was Wonho.

"Kihyun, how's everything?" Wonho is smiling and Kihyun knew that he too, is excited for the new beginning.

"Good. I just need you to check your studio, if you need anything to be changed or if there is anything missing for it.  After all, your stuff is still not here. Take a look at the whole building, tell me if you want to change anything."

"Will do." His expression changed and Kihyun noticed Hyungwon absence.

"Where's Hyungwon? I thought he is going to pick you up?"

"He did..."

"And?" a teasing smile crept onto his face.

Wonho chuckled.

"Song PD called. They need me for the meeting."

"For the OST?"

"Yes. I've submitted the demo, but they got things to add. I need to go and show good manner, so..."

"You gonna dragged Hyungwon there and skip lunch with us?"

Just then, Kihyun's phone rang. Wonho looked at him with raised eyebrows.

 

"It's Minhyuk. One sec, hyung." He picked up the phone.

"Hey Minhyuk." Kihyun sounded giddy to greet his friend in a good day like this.

"Listen, first of all I'm sorry." There was no pause in Minhyuk’s voice.

"What?"

"We can't join lunch."

"Explain."

"See, Jooheon make I.M mad."

 

_‘I'm not mad, just disappointed’,_ I.M said on the back ground.

_‘Well, it is obviously not my fault. At least not me, alone’,_ that was Jooheon.

 

"What is happening?" Kihyun looked over to Wonho who looked as confused as he was.

"It's nothing, really." Minhyuk added.  
  


_‘Sure, because it was not yours’_ I.M sounded sullen.

_‘Come on, maknae. Cheer up.’_ Minhyuk said, obviously directed to I.M

 

"Stop making me confused. Just tell me what happened." Wonho was now sitting on the chair in front of Kihyun, getting curious at what's going on. Like it was on cue, Hyungwon arrived at the office.

"Hyung! You said five minutes." Hyungwon, who just arrived at Kihyun’s office shouted to Wonho. Startled, Wonho accidentally kicked the rich desk in front of him, fuming Kihyun in the process.

"Hyung!" Kihyun hissed.

Hyungwon muttered a slow sorry to both of them and asked about the phone call. It was too much to explain so Kihyun turn on the speaker.

 

"Lee Minhyuk. Tell us what happened?" Kihyun was getting impatient.

"Us?" Minhyuk asked.

"Me, Wonho hyung and Hyungwon is here. Stop getting distracted. What the heck happened?"

 

Minhyuk took in a long breath before he started to ramble, “So, Jooheon and I intended to pick up Changkyun. He was moving some of his stuff so..."

"Changkyun move his stuff? I though he will move it here tomorrow?" Kihyun chimed in.

"Who said he is sending the things to the company?" Frustrated, Minhyuk yelled.

"You said, he is moving..." Wonho added.

"Oh my god. He rent a garage space for his stuff and the moving guy will collect it tomorrow. It would be a hassle if they need to go to Changkyun's previous studio and move the stuff from there. We just gonna need to pay more."

 

_‘I pay them with my own money so worry not’._ I.M still did not sound good.

 

"Okay, okay. What happened?" Hyungwon asked.

"Okay. So, we were helping him..."

 

_‘I would not call that helping’_ I.M added at the background and Wonho broke into a big grin knowing the kind of mischievousness that occur when Jooheon is with Minhyuk.

_‘That's not fair, Kkungie’_ Jooheon whined.

"Anyway... we were helping him and Jooheon knocked his PC off the table..."

_‘Nothing would break if you keep your hands off me!!!’_ Jooheon shouted.

 

"CHANGKYUN'S PC IS BROKEN???" Kihyun shouted back.

"No need to freak out over this, okay? We'll go out and buy a new one." Minhyuk said.

"You know he have one of the best PC right?" Kihyun asked.

 

_‘Just me paying more on things I can't afford’_ I.M said

_‘I'll pay for it... I mean, I'll pay a portion of it’,_ now even Jooheon sounded sullen too.

 

Kihyun smiled fondly, this is the kind of mess that he needs to handle all the time but he loves it. Wonho raised his phone and showed something to Kihyun. Kihyun gasped.

 "Err, Minhyuk?" Kihyun cautiously called his friend.  
"Yup?"  
"Ask Changkyun to check his bank account."

In few seconds, Kihyun heard the youngest squealed in delight. Then he was shouting over the phone."HOSEOK HYUNG!!! I LOVE YOUUUUU!!!"

They all laughed.

 "Let's meet for dinner instead, I'll text the address." Wonho said.  
"Sure." Jooheon, Minhyuk and I.M said in unison before ending the call.

 

Hyungwon was still laughing over the whole commotion when he left the office. Wonho greeted him goodbye and now he is alone again.

 

Heaving out a deep sigh, Kihyun rested closer into the chair as he embraces the softness of the rich new leather chair. Soon enough, he went down the memory lane, thinking about all the obstacles they went through.  
  


Five years ago, they lost a member. Shownu left them, leaving them in a hurtful desperation while they crawl their way up the stardom. They were already on top, but they were struggling to keep the fame. On that crucial moment, their leader left them.

 Soon after, it was revealed that the departure was inescapable. The leader was sick, and he can't promise he will be okay, or if he will recover fast enough to continue being an idol. Health comes first, of course. When the truth reached them, they reconciled and were set to start their world tour. It was fun, knowing with ease that they were not betrayed.  Rather, a leader had sacrifice himself for the team. Maybe, that was the way Shownu decided to protect Monsta X.  
  
However, Wonho was distracted the whole tour. He was always on his phone, answering phone in quiet corners, skipping the team dinner and sleeping too late at night. He was the new leader, and nobody had the gut to ask him if everything was fine. Not after what had just happened.

 Two months later, the tour ended and Wonho had called for a meeting. They had thought they were called for a company meeting, considering how tensed the eldest member was. Nobody expected that their meeting would be in a living room of a new apartment that belonged to Shownu. Kihyun was not entirely okay.  
  
They broke up. They reconciled as a group, but there were too many unspoken, unresolved issue between them two and for him to be in the other's new apartment, that he doesn’t even knew exist pained him. When did Shownu bought an apartment? Was he insignificant enough to not know it all? The realisation that they were no longer a couple beat him harder that day. The day that all of them, all seven met up after a long time.  
  


"When did you buy an apartment?" Minhyuk asked.

Shownu turned to Kihyun, looking at him almost apologetically.

"I swear I was about to tell you..." Shownu said this to Kihyun but the latter did not react, "... but you guys were so busy..."

"It was his 'shut up compensation'..." Wonho chimed in.

"What?" Hyungwon asked.

"I talked to the managers and managed to get as many truths as necessary. Now, listen."

 

The truth unfolded that night. Shownu leaving them was just a beginning of a hideous reality. Months before the decision was made, the company plotted a plan to drive Shownu away with guiltiness. They try to make it sound like the injury will somehow affect the whole group when it was clearly stated in the previous contract that they should be responsible for any injury and sickness of their artist. It is totally under Shownu's right to stay in the company and received all the treatment without worrying about being active with the members because it was stated in the contract that the company will be fine with it. They made a contract that sound humane, but they refused to stay true to it. Which was why Shownu was tricked into thinking he was unwelcomed, a burden and will bring destruction to the team.  Shownu was alone so he remained clueless but Wonho had stepped up and hire a lawyer. He asked Shownu to consult with the lawyer and together, they met with the representative of the company again. Obviously, Wonho made it clear that he did not want Shownu in the team, again. He had a strong reason for it as he had managed to have a deep and lengthy discussion with Shownu beforehand. They as the eldest of the group had planned something greater for all of them. He just wants Shownu to have as much as he can from the company. Thus, the apartment. That night, Wonho had revealed the possibility of them revising their own contract.

 

"Listen. I will explain all of this, but you need to be patient. I know I can be incoherent at times, but this is no joke. Take this seriously and listen. If any of you decided this is not a good plan, we all bailed." Wonho looked over to Shownu and nodded. The two friends were hopeful things will get better and the younger brothers would agree on their big plan.

  

 

Today, they were all free. They fought for their right and revised their 9 years contract to a 5 years contract. They had all agree to pay a certain portion of their pay into a shared account, so they can build an empire of their own, once the contract ended.

Here they are, in their own building. Here they are, in their new company; X Clan Entertainment.

They were disbanded, as they no longer have the right to use the name of Monsta X; it was copyrighted by Starship. But it was a decision everyone was happy about because they disbanding mean one thing; they are free to do whatever they love to do.

Wonho is back to composing. Few months before disbanding, multiple producers and artists had contacted him to make arrangements; all so eager to get a song from him. Jooheon and I.M is doing great too, they both will be back to the rapping competition as the judges, again. Minhyuk had built a great reputation during the years and had been the most wanted OST singer. His husky voice had swept the entire country off their feet. Meanwhile, Hyungwon had own a club of his own. The DJ in him had win all of his other talents. Kihyun himself had found his niche area; vocal coaching. He too had been one of the best OST singers but his ability to belt out rock songs had shaken the nation. Within few years, he had managed to attract people who would kill to be coached by him.  
 

Shownu. He let out a heavy breath, a habit he acquire when he thinks of the ex-leader, ex-lover.   
  
 Shownu was assigned to do all the researching, the networking. Literally he had made this. He had worked the hardest during the five years while the other six had tried their best to top charts and gained awards. He had collected as many information needed, making sure they will be ready in five year. Shownu brought in many great investors. SJ Label - Super Junior seniors had bought the company from SM - is one of their biggest investor thanks to Heechul sunbaenim. Two directors from Starship who always thought Shownu is kind and thoughtful, always amazed by his mannerism had volunteered to work with them. So You and Bora sunbaenim had invest in the company too. Shownu had brought in many connections too. They had been booked for a series of drama; both for songs and acting itself. Commercial offers were piling, and the company was getting good publicity since last few months despite it was not launched yet. Shownu had worked the hardest. Yet, he refused to be the CEO.

 All of them, all seven of them were signed under X Clan Entertainment. They will represent themselves while preparing another two groups that would probably debut in two years.

 They all owned the company, but titles need to be filled so the others had turned into easier options; being the directors and the shareholders, pushing Kihyun to be the CEO. The latter complied after much coaxing from all for the members. Mostly by Shownu’s word; though he always pretended he was not listening.

 Sound of voices and footsteps brought him back to reality, memories vanished.    
  
“Hello, CEO!” Hoshi was standing by the door with his mischievous smile. Trailing behind him is Mingyu, Wonwoo and Jeonghan. Kihyun stood to greet them.   
“Hey, it has been a while.”  
“Yeah, we just got back from Canada. We can’t be long, we need to report back to the company.” Jeonghan explained.   
“Congrats, hyung.” Mingyu’s voice was soft and his eyes were full of fondness.   
“Congrats to the whole team! Wait, where are they? Where is everyone?” Hoshi said as he looked around the room.   
“It’s a mess, really. Some got things to do, some just being too playful that it causes a problem. It’s a messy start.” Kihyun sighed but back with a quick smile.   
“That is why you are the CEO. They put you at the best position.” Wonwoo flashed his smile.   
“By the way, we need to get going. We saw many wreath downstairs, many people are congratulating you guys. It’ll be a great start hyung, I believe…”  
  
Suddenly, a soft voice said “Oh, you got company.”  
  
“SHOWNU HYUNG!!!!” the four Seventeen members shouted as they hurled towards the older. Of course, it has been a while since Shownu meets them as he is no longer a part of Monsta X for the recent five years. Very rarely, he will hang with the others but tight schedule doesn’t always give them the freedom to do so often.   
  
Jeonghan’s phone started to ring and they knew they really need to go. They hugged Kihyun and Shownu before leaving.   
  
Now, it was just the two of them in the same room.

 

"Hi, CEO." Shownu teased, looking around the office. "Not too bad."

 

Despite everything, he and Shownu were never okay. They broke up five years ago and they had kept it that way. They never talked to one another about it. It started with awkwardness but as all of them were too driven to achieve their dreams nobody had initiate anything. The members were worried too but everyone had stayed out of it. It was none of their business. Plus, nobody knows how to fix a broken bond that was so precious.

 It was easy to ignore the pain when he was too busy to notice the presence of it. Although it got too much with every meeting, every encounter and every few seconds they were left alone. Just like now, when they are the only two existing humans in a same room, Kihyun cursed himself for not updating about the cancelled lunch in the group chat because obviously Shownu showed up due to that.

"Many things came up, so lunch is cancelled. They want to have dinner together, instead." Kihyun said while Shownu was still busy looking through his new office.   
  
"I’ll stay until dinner then. I got nothing to do today after all. Have you had your lunch?" Shownu asked.

"No. But I am not hungry. You can go ahead and eat first, hyung." The awkwardness was overwhelming.

"Let's go, let's have lunch together."

"No, thank you." Kihyun's answer was too quick, pain evident on Shownu's face. Kihyun sighed. He sat back on his chair.

 

"Do you hate me?"

Brows knitted together, Kihyun looked at Shownu with an angry expression."You know, I don't."

"I don't know actually. It has been five years since I am sure with anything about you."

"What does that mean?"

 Shownu shrugged. He walked towards the door, intending to avoid their issues, as always."See you at dinner then."

 

"Hyunwoo." Shownu stopped. It has been years since Kihyun addressed him using his real name, especially in that tone. He turned, heart beating crazily."Son Hyunwoo, we need to talk." Kihyun was looking into his eyes, something he had stopped doing years ago, too.

 

 .

 

The two were sitting awkwardly, facing one another and it pained both of them, considering how close they were five years ago. How they were inseparable for years, leading their members for better future. How they painted a future together, but now having future apart from one another.

 The new office was mostly empty except of the new furniture and Kihyun had suggested going to a nearby coffee shop, so they can drink and talk but Shownu insisted they stayed in the office, secluded from prying eyes. They need some time to discuss their relationship, in private.

"Will you say something?" Kihyun's voice unstable, heavily affected by his unstable emotion.

"I am sorry, for leaving Monsta X and not explaining anything to everyone. Not even to you."

"That was long ago, we reconciled. You were sick, it was fine.”

"Monsta X reconciled, not you and me."

  
Kihyun took a sharp breath. Nothing leaves Shownu's sight, not even things that hurt him. Which is why he was more disappointed because Shownu knew exactly what had hurt him but the guy never did a thing to stop it.

"It's okay."

"It's not okay. That was my first mistake."

Kihyun cannot helped but to rest his head on the center of his palms. It was too much.

 "I am oblivious of your feelings, your stand and your side of the story. But here is mine. I love you, I still do. The breakup was my idea, but you took it well. You even helped me reconciled with the rest of Monsta X but that was the last thing you did for me. After that, you just... disappear. You were there, but not completely. You were no longer my Kihyun.”, with a sad smile, he shook his head. He then continued, “You were there in every meeting, lunch or dinner that we had together, but you still hide behind Minhyuk. You would always sit too far away from me and I am not stupid, you are avoiding me. I know, you trusted me with all your heart and even when you said it was okay, you were not okay. Even during the weeks that you stopped by when I had my surgery, you were not okay. It took me months to understand. You feel betrayed. Even as you help the others to trust me again, you never did. You don't trust me, not anymore."

"That is not true. We asked you to manage the preparation for this company because we trust you, and you did so well..." Kihyun tried his best not to break down.

"Not that, Kihyun. You don't trust me, YOU, you don't believe me anymore. Not as a member of Monsta X, but as Yoo Kihyun, as my lover, as my partner, as my other half... you don't trust me."

Kihyun can't utter a single word.

"For others, it was a simple equation but for you, it was a big betrayal. You told me everything, everything that happened to you, you give me your everything… but I was too much of a coward for keeping my injury as a secret from you. Now, thinking about it hurts me as I realised how stupid it was. I was so pathetic. You were hurt, and I fully understand that."

"I don't have anyone else, hyung. I trust you with my everything." Kihyun opened up.

"I know."

"We've been through so many things together."

"I know." Shownu’s voice broke, sadness was evident in each word.

"But!” Kihyun raised his voice and paused. He needed to be calm. “But, you can't trust me to believe you with your decision. You think I'll stop you."

"Kihyun..."

He raised his voice, Kihyun was in rage. "I would understand, I would stay by your side, I would help everyone to understand the whole situation, but you doubt me."

"I thought you won't let me go..."

"Am I an immature, clingy teenager?" Kihyun scoffed. "Am I a selfish lover?" He looked at Shownu, tears at the brim of his eyes. "Do I love myself more than I love you?" Tears ran down his cheeks slowly.

 Shownu let out a grunt.

"No. You are not clingy, no no no. But I was stupid."

"And you let it happen for years. You kept me in the dark. You got an apartment, your rehab was going too slow, so you had to change your routine, your leg was not healing well, you..." his shaky voice sound pathetic even to himself, "... you let me go. You remove me from your life."  
  
"I don't deserve you."Shownu breathed out.

"Don't be a cliche, hyung." Kihyun snarled.

"I am afraid. I knew... about ... Mingyu." Shownu sound broken, like he was in immense pain.  
  
 Shownu’s statement brought silence to the room. Kihyun gulped down nervously, heart frantic as he processed the whole thing. Shownu knew?

"I, I thought we were okay... and almost got angry about it. I almost went to him but... Wonho reminded me that... we were through. We broke up, so..." Shownu broke the silence.

Kihyun can't say a single word. It was true, he was with Mingyu in a short period after he broke up with Shownu. The two teams were close since the very beginning but when Shownu left, the younger guy had been pestering him a lot. Asking him to buy him coffee, at times asking him to buy him meal. And he did, for friendship sake but the meetings turned into something intense and Kihyun was lonely. But they didn't last long. They could not last long, not when Kihyun still think about Shownu when he was with Mingyu. Not to mentioned how everyone, especially Minhyuk hated the relationship. It felt forced according to Minhyuk. He was sure nobody approved of the relationship, but they were all courtly enough to understand it was his personal life and nobody have a say on it except himself.

"It was temporary." Kihyun's voice was slow, almost like a whisper.

"But it happened."

 Kihyun felt embarrased, guilty. As if he was cheating on Shownu.

 "It happened, and it can happen again. You can date anyone, anyone at all."

"Hyung."

"Maybe, because we were in the same team. Maybe, we spent too many times together. Maybe, we ended up together because you never knew you had a choice." Shownu’s eyes glistened as tears gathers.

"What?" Kihyun was beyond confused.

"Maybe, we were not the real thing. Maybe if we were not in the same team, if we met as fellow idols, you won't even look at me."

"What are you implying?" He can feel the rage within him.

"Maybe, you were forced to be with me... because of the situation we were in. If we were..."

"Are you saying, my love was unreal?" Kihyun raised his voice.

"No, Kihyun..."

"Are you saying, we were fake? We were together because we were stuck in the same team?" Kihyun stood in rage, he barely believed his ears.

"Kihyun..." Shownu begged.

"Well damn, I should have been fucking Hoseok this whole time. He was with me from the start! Better yet, maybe I have a thing for a leader. Should I call him and profess my love? Oh! Wait, I like younger guys, don't I? Someone like Mingyu?" He walked to around the room, letting out his anger, “Maybe Changkyun? Younger and a rapper? Maybe I should be with him?"

Shownu walked to him and pushed him to the wall. 

"Stop!" Shownu growled.

"Why? I am stuck here now, should I fuck the directors? Maybe call Siwon sunbaenim, our largest investor. Maybe we can get more if I start a relationship with him?"

 Shownu rested his forehead on Kihyun's shoulder and with exasperated voice, he begged, "Please stop. You are torturing me."

"And you, you break me. You don’t have the right to do this, hyung. " Kihyun said before he slid down the wall.   
  
"I love you, because of who you are, deep inside. I had a fling with Mingyu for a while... because it was too lonely, but it was unfair for him. Because despite his amazing self, I still think of you. I was in pain, because you choose to not let me in again. It was you who let me go, who let me wander off... after I already found my home. You were my home, but you throw me away. You make me homeless, after the long years we spend together.  You don't get to talk to me like this." He rested his head on the wall and tears were streaming down his face.  

Shownu dropped to his knees. 

"I am sorry. I'm sorry. I love you, I really do but I was too afraid and I was such a fool I make mistakes I ... I wasted... I ... " He was crying too.   
  
“I can’t believe you said all of that bullshit.”  
  
“You don’t understand, Kihyun. It was scary to think of all the possibilities.”  
  
“You doubted us.”  
  
“I doubted me, it is not you…”  
  
Don’t give me ‘It is not you, it is me’ type of excuses, hyung. You know better.”  
  
Shownu looked at Kihyun with a sad smile. “You really don’t understand. I am nothing. You and the rest were chasing stars, making history while me, me? I was jobless for almost a year. I was alone, I was just… I was nothing. You should see yourself when you love me, when you adore me, when you are proud of me. It was a beautiful sight, but I will never get that again, do you understand? I am no longer your leader that protect all of you, I am no longer your favourite dancer, fuck I can’t dance that well anymore. I was nothing. You loved me when I was Shownu of Monsta X and it is scary when I am no longer that.”  
  
Kihyun’s breath hitched. Shownu was afraid?  
  
“You know damn well, I love you. I love Son Hyunwoo. I love the real you. The one that expertly keep his rage in check, staying calm as he checks on everyone. That kind person that would do anything for all of us, the one that compromises, the one that changes anything he need to change to accommodate us." Kihyun let a smile escaped his lips.  
  
"I love Son Hyunwoo that had tried his best convincing Wonho that he is a worthy artist, composer, singer and song-writer. The one that diligently stay by Wonho’s side when he got anxious about his body image, the one that diligently visit Wonho at the studio when he got unsure of his songs. I fell in love with Son Hyunwoo, the so called Showminator but let Minhyuk found solace in his arms. The same person that urges Minhyuk to start singing OSTs, start MC-ing, the one that is brave enough to give space for Minhyuk boldness. I fell in love with the guy that would always make time to grab dinner with Hyungwon no matter how late, or how early or how he was already full because he already had his meal. The person that knew Hyungwon don’t eat much so with each request, the answer is always yes. I fell in love with the guy that adores Jooheon. The one that stays loyal with him, the one that give love and attention to our Joohoney who constantly needs attention. I fell in love with his patience as he deals with Jooheon, despite the clinginess. I fell in love, with you… with the awkward hyung who cannot handle Changkyun. The guy that try so hard each time, to talk to our youngest even when Changkyun refuse to look at you in the eyes. Changkyun can never stop the awkwardness in him when he is around you no matter how much he adores you, but you try your very best to be close with him. The person that gives encouragement and adoration to each piece of art Changkyun produce, even when all of us could not understand his style, his words and his analogy. The one that let the maknae be on top, letting him swallow all the spotlight with no envy.”  
  
Shownu was left breathless.   
  
“I love you, for all the things you do behind camera. Things you do because of who you really are, of your personality, your beliefs, your core values and the sincere you. Even if you become a nobody to everyone else, you are still my Son Hyunwoo. My kind Son Hyunwoo who teaches me to be kind too. Who teaches me the real meaning of confidence. Who teaches me to be patient. Who told me, I am perfect the way I am despite the fiery nagging, despite the annoying remarks, despite the clingy touches. The person that convince myself, I can love me.”  
  
“Kihyun, I… it… might sound stupid to you, but it was a real concern for me and it has been eating me alive these past years and…”  
  
“I thought we promised to share our thought, to not be in our headspace alone for too long…”  
  
“I’m… sorry.”  
  
“I love you.”  
  
“I love you too, but… Kihyun … we …”  
  
“Hyung, do you love me enough?”  
  
“Nothing changes, baby.”  
  
Kihyun smiles at the pet name, he knew things can get better. Kihyun reached to Shownu’s face and kiss him softly. They both sobbed into the kiss and pulled away.

 

"Should we try, once again?" Kihyun asked timidly.

"Yes, please." It was almost like a beg and Shownu pulled Kihyun into a hug.

 

 

 

.

 

 

Wonho tried calling Kihyun as the latter had not arrived at the restaurant for the dinner. Inside, I.M beamed. He got his new PC for free - well since he bought a new one with Wonho's money - and was eager to tell everyone about it. Jooheon and Minhyuk were still bickering and Hyungwon was watching the fights with smile on his face. Kihyun didn't picked up.

He dialed up Shownu's number. It was then he saw the two of them walking towards him, fingers linked together. Slowly, smile crept on his face.

"Finally." He had softly said to himself.

For once, they are truly back together. The team as whole, the dynamics and the love within it. They will start a new journey, and this is the biggest gift. Monsta X is back, maybe with a different name and different dream, but they are still one.

He waved towards the two and chuckled when Kihyun tried to push Shownu away as if he was caught doing something wrong. Wonho laughed. He glanced inside and met Hyungwon's gaze.

He mouthed, "We'll be alright" and the lanky guy nodded.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi~
> 
> Hope you like the story and how it ended, please let me know you feel about the whole fic.  
> While you on it, it would be amazing if you can tell me one interesting incident that had happened to you this week. 
> 
> Looking forward for your response. 
> 
> As always, thank you for spending your time reading my work. 
> 
> :)

**Author's Note:**

> >//////<
> 
> How was it?  
> Please let me know your opinion, i would greatly appreciate this.   
> Also, I am not completely out of my writer's block. 
> 
> I saw something on twitter and decided to try this out.
> 
> Would you guys tell me your opinion in the comment section and just add some fun fact about yourself. Maybe a hidden talent? A phobia? Your special ability?  
> Just one fact about you, I think reading through that might help me feel better, in certain way. 
> 
> Will anticipate your answers ^^
> 
> Anyway! Thank you for reading, as always.


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